7th august 09 i told you that i'll treat you as my forever listening ear,
you told me that its impossible.
on 28th october, that was the last time i saw you
that was after my math paper.
oh wells,
no one is taking any initiative to start any conversation.
life feels screwed.
everything with you feels like it has all ended.

it is because of this long holiday that i am having which cause myself to become so restless?
everyday when i open my eyes, i know tht it will be a boring day. i'm wasting my time so tht 17nov will come and i'll be off for red camp.
humans are getting on my nerves. decided to keep to myself and not talk.
sorry to those tht i am not replying to your msgs,
i just want to shut myself away from everyone else.
believe it or not, ever since o's ended, i never went out. COOL HUH?
i think tht i am the only person in the whole who can do it.
suppose to go for lunch with zoey ytd at tampines mall, but ended up meeting her at 6plus plus to get the booklist, laughed alot with her while waiting for 53 bus. i have no idea why do i always laugh so much when i am with her. maybe its because her laughters are just contagious?
hell hell hell, i am turning fat.. lazy to move around
just want to be kept alone and just dont wish to talk to anyone

i dont want to talk
i dont want to eat
i dont want to move
i just want to remain like this til 17nov
and i'll enjoy my day at red camp.

life is getting more and more meaningless

i think he's like so cute!
(but some one says that i am siao by thinking so)
hmph!
was watching his videos on youtube! omgee, the part when he said the word "one" then he will show that face! haha, spotted tht face and that same action in two of his video clips. no other actions to show his cute-ness?? omgee. going mad! haha

There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl

How many I told you's
And start overs and shoulders
Have you cried on before
How many promises be honest girl
How many tears you let hit the floor
How many bags you'd packed
Just to take'em back, tell me that
How many either or's
But no more,
If you let me inside of your world
There'll be one less lonely girl

Oh oh
I saw so many pretty faces
Before I saw you, you
Now all I see is you
I'm coming for you
No no
Don't need these other pretty faces
Like I need you
And when your mine in the world

There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
I'm gonna put you first
I'll show you what you're worth
If you let me inside your world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl

Christmas wasn't merry, 14th of February
Not one of'em spent with you
How many dinner dates, set dinner plates
And he didn't even touch his food
How many torn photographs I saw you taping back
Tell me that you couldn't see an open door
But no more,
If you let me inside of your world
There'll be one less lonely girl

Oh oh
I saw so many pretty faces
Before I saw you, you
Now all I see is you
I'm coming for you
No no
Don't need these other pretty faces
Like I need you
And when your mine in this world

There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
I'm gonna put you first
I'll show you what you're worth
If you let me inside your world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl

I can fix up your broken heart
I can give you a brand new start
I can make you believe
I just wanna set one girl free to fall (free to fall)
She's free to fall (fall in love)
With me
My hearts locked and nowhere that I got the key
I'll take her and leave the world
With one less lonely girl

There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl

One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
I'm gonna put you first
I'll show you what you're worth
If you let me inside your world

There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
I'm gonna put you first
I'll show you what you're worth
If you let me inside your world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
Only you shawty

"it's okay it's alright. i let you in my world, there'll be one less lonely girl"
haha, was feeling really down and this sms vibrated on the table freaking loudly and it made me smile to my phone!
 like omg, how long was it since i last smile to my phone?
feeling retarded smiling at a non-living thing but this phrase is good to say to someone who is really down because the geog pp was screwed up!
first time in my entire history of doing geog that i ahve got nothing to write. finished super early and was stoning and the question, thinking of what else to write.
oh boy, just got to rely on my human geog instead( which is worst than my physical)
darn it !!
the "i want to know what love is" song was stuck in my head during the paper, and now, its the "one less lonely girl" why are all these stuck but not the things that i studied! waste of my memory space!

SHINGZ YOU!

i'm hoping not to hear from you so soon.
i'm boiling at 100 degree celcius

omgee, i need the tissue and shoulder

fuck,
i didnt even change it and why the hell did you change it?
yes, i didnt show it but the status is not changed.
so wtf were you thinking?
like hello?
i didnt even do anything!
AND I AM NOT PLANNING TO DO ANYTHNG!
just let the others say whatever they want, thats what i thought.
if i didnt go and see it by accident,i will never know that you are stabbing me at the back when i did nothing to you at all.NOTHING
wtf,
if you dont wish to continue, and if the status is really what you want, i'll grant it to you without a single drop of tear because its what you want and i'll respect it like how you would want me to do it.
sorry that i am feeling pissed of by that 6 letter word that you changed it to. but it is enough to hurt me.

as usual,
no motivation to do my work. just set my alarm clock to remind me to go off after using the computer for half an hour, as a reward cause i've kinda mug-ed the whole damn day. freaking hell tired now, my eyes feels like closing but my mind is still awake and my heart is just so heavy! dont understand why is it getting heavier. 9 more papers to go. like Teriously( must emphasis the T)  scared for my SS tmr. jie got an A1, she made it sound as though it is so easy to get an A1 for combine human. i hope i can absord some of her intelligience! -.-

guess what?!
2 papers down
have no idea why am i here but i guess because ts math paper tomorrow and i'm not tht scared??
nvm,
eng is screwed up,
math paper 1 is semi screwed up. must do well tmr and get my A1!!!!!
hahaha
i cant wait for 11 november
althought when that day comes, i'll be very pissed off with someone who is intending to break her promise
oh whateWer, just heck care,
want to gossip? GO AHEAD!
want to quarrel? GO AHEAD!!
nehninehnipoopoo, i'm not scared of you!
ok, getting high, think its the chocolate's fault!

how many more days??
just how many more days.
what am i doing now? i am still typing away.

mood swings and more mood swings
wtf is this. i just cant control my emotions. why am i faking a smile when i'm not even happy?
why am i even laughing away when inside me, my heart is beating fast and i'm scared
i'm just not showing my real self.
if anyone realise, im wearing my watch on my left wrist ( to hide some stuff )
to those not observant ones, too bad. all of the "things" will go off by monday ( i think )

sigh, not gonna sms. just using phone to listen to music..

I AM NOT GONNA SMS ANYMORE!!!!!!!

i think tht you know it alr.
just think tht you know.
well, waiting for you to approach me one fine day and tell me that you alr know everything.
but i hope tht the day will never ever come.
was just mentioning it to wanleng through the phone and teared.
if what i said really happens to us, its not worth it.
it will be the biggest regret i have in my entire life.
i know that its difficult to accept, but give me some time to settle things down k?
i'll promise tht i will stop all these by the end of 2009.
please, i just dont wish tht it will all be over

it has been a year alr
rmb how the seniors looked for us to take photos with them on their last day of school
and look, i just finished my last day of school!!! WTH
time really flies
just about 10 more days
i should be very motivated and doing my work.
but i'm not at all.
why???????

shit this whole thing!

STOP GETTING DISTRACTED!
GO AND STUDY NOW!
WHY ARE YOU USING COMPUTER!
FINISH YOUR GEOG AND SLEEP!
THERE'S NO TIME LEFT!
STOP ALL THESE USELESS STUFF AND GET MOTIVATED!
i really hope that i can, but its just so difficult........

super tired these days.
even if i sleep at 11, i'll still be tired and falla sleep in class.
esp lit lessons, just feel like sleeping
using my zip to keep me awake.
only sam and i knows how to play the zip game to keep ourselves awake!
still have 2 more chem ws to go. chem just suck!
i need tutoring for chem. thought of going to her for help, but dun dare to.

just downloaded my songs from 4shared.
finally got all the songs tht i want. haha
all ready for night study on friday to listen to them

believe it or not.
i have not been doing much of my work this weekend and i am using the computer again!!!
home alone is just not good for me cos no one controls me and i'll keep using the ccmputer!
terrible! completed my E math, A math and 1 chem ws. got alot more to go!!!!!!!!

went out till nearly 1am ytd.
super tired and went to bed straight after bathing. was trying to study geog, but fell alseep after reading 2 pages -.- how lousy am i
was playing like mad
tried to play with julien and started running,
darn knee hurt cause of that run. and it was fking painful for the whole night till this morning
there was this stinging pain inside and when i tell sis, she has no reaction.
not even a slightest sign of concern
so the poor me played my night with that pain.
so poor thing!!!
played with candles! just like some kid. but it brought back really good memories.
last time used to go to the palyground every mooncake festival to play with jing da and zuoying. now we see each other, we just say hi and walk away. no longer so close after going secondary sch.. thats the end of my childhood f/s.


dad blamed me for the knee
" ask you eat medicine, you say you cant swallow"
"ask you to eat honey, you dont want also"
the tablet is fking big can?! is like always stuck there and i'm scared of it. cant even put myself to swallow it. even mum says that its too big for me but dad just insist tht its not the tablet tht has problem but is me!

so its my fault!
yes, its just me me me me me me me
i want o lvl to come and go so tht i can go see the doctor with my own $$ aft i work.
want go for watever x ray, blood test or any other shit test to see wat the hell is wrong with my knee.
it cant be hurting for no good reason,
and if tht doctor dare to give me painkillers and say tht its an ordinary strain, i'm gonna scream at him!

"lack of calcium in P5" caused the pain
"strained due to cca in sec3" caused the pain
see the big diff in what the doctor said??
so now sec4 and nv go for cca and have been eating alot of cheese and drinking milk,
so what is it now??
cant they just give me a proper diagnose??
sickening!!!! i want a new knee!!!! ( although i have been asking for one since very long ago! )

saw the dress that i may be wearing for cambridge.
but still considering. its nice. but there are still nicer ones.
take my time and slowly choose. got to look pretty and outstanding. not like any girl on the streets! hahahahahaha.

may be having dinner with chow, leng and pandora tmr
see first.
still planning. leng is suppose to plan. ( cos i ask her to ) but she haven got back to me yet
having night study tmr and this time round, chen lao shi will really be there.
haha.
i dun think any one will have chinese question though.
lol. but i'll be going to do chem ( i think ) so even she there anot also dun make any difference.

this month's bill is coming really soon. so scared that mum is going to show me tht face again. haha. every month over!! :(
want to hurry change plan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, this post is freaking long! haha

less than 1 month to o'lvl

is like freaking fast, like everyone is saying, this is our last lap and everyone is sprinting. maybe that is why i find that time is really flying

saw the fattest battery just now. somehow mum's phone battery grew fat and its really like rounded. haha. dad said that its because of over charging. lol.

went to watch "fame". not as good as what i've expected it to be like. lol. i want to watch mj movie!!! but will be having o levels. need to watch it on the last day cause it'll be out for 2 weeks only!!! cant wait!! :)

funny.

getting back report book really soon. not happy with my results at all. sigh..

nvm, just got to try harder and do better for o's.

super alot of things happened. and i'm really exhausted by it. hopefully nothing will go wrong and i'll be safe and sound. i have 2 more months in PL but C has like 3 more years!!!! cant afford to let anything happen. sigh...

cant think of what to do and what to say
sms are just to informal
i dont even know how to approach this sort of topic
first time experiencing this sort of "pain"
got to just let it fade and let myself forget

"there's a fullstop in every sentence"

thinking of this and also adviced and encouraged ppl with this sentence. but it seems that i am chosing not to accept that fact that this is not a comma and it is really going to end
it was really enjoyable although i thought that it was not the feeling that i was looking for.
i am also unable to contribute too much with all these commitments tat i ahve on hand. and next month, i swear that i am not going to touch my phone ( expect setting alarms )

sigh, hope that all these nightmare is going to end

all the best to myself for my o level revision and papers and your EOY

after a long break,
tmr is the starting of prelims part 2
oh gosh! and i'm not prepared for the chinese paper
it has been donkey years since i last touched my chinese stuff and i need to go through them all over again!

like wad i told za,
i find no purpose living at all.
like there's no aim, no goal, just nothing.
i cant even find a way to leave.
el said this and i agree with it :
she said that she cant find a way to leave that is not painful to anyone.
i dont want ppl around me to feel sad at all.
so yupp.
wad an emotional one, but those were facts, what is the point of living
where by you just dont want to live anymore?
crying myself to sleep like almost every now and then.
life is so stressful!
sigh~

btw, saw a rainbow this morning,.
so nice.
it just brightens up my morning,
although the afternoon was so long and miserable.
it has been nearly 22 hours.
missing and missing alot.

no more phone!
call my house phone if you all want to contact me!

we regret to inform you that you have not been selected for placement in one of the polytechnics under the DPA exercise.

i'm really disappointed int his results. but not sure if i am happy at the same time or not.
i dun even know in the first place if pharm is a good choice.
just like wad she told me when i met her on the road that day,
pharm has no future.
she impacted me alot and immediately when she told me, i blogged that i will prove her wrong
but in the first place, it was mum who wanted me to go pharm.
and i want physio but need a A lvl cert.
then sis says that i can take H1 science if i'm afriad that i cant catch up.

JC or Poly? Pharmacy science? oh man

the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me
the headache is killing me